No Thanksgiving is complete without a recitation of one of William S. Burroughs’ finest:

I might as well cough out my own updated take on this:

Thanks to the Maryland State Police for spying on antiwar activists as if they were terrorists, even after you determined they were harmless

Thanks to the DC Gang for leeching off the prosperity of the nation, for bankrupting our country and covering it up, and for listening to your corporate masters on Wall Street instead of the people who elected you

Thanks to the globalist bankers at the Federal Reserve who have illegally and unconstitutionally manipulated our once great country’s economy to their benefit and to the detriment of hard-working Americans

Thanks to Al-CIAda for assassinating one of the greatest leaders this country has ever known and for perpetuating the most heinous evils in the name of our country, such as drug distribution to our own people to finance your nefarious black operations and pitting Iran and Iraq against each other in collusion with non-American citizens

Thanks to Blackwater and Helliburton for circumventing our Constitution and creating enemies of the USA faster than we can kill them

Thanks to the Mossad for killing loyal Navy sailors on the USS Liberty, for dragging my country into endless conflicts against our will, and for that most recent false-flag operation you just pulled off in Mumbai

Thanks to the spineless, America-hating telecommunications companies who have us all by the genitals with their full complicity with NSA wiretapping, for locking us into draconian mobile phone contracts and nickel-and-diming us for an Internet that we as taxpayers paid for a large part of

Thanks to the DoD for bleeding what is left of our great nation for its war profiteering

You will all get what you deserve in due time.